This week on unlocking YOUR magic, we are going to talk about boundaries. It's a little bit of a new topic because as I usually stay in joy, love, laughter, awe, freedom, and connection. I really want to look at boundaries. It is an important topic to invite more of the above mentioned into your life and it has really been coming up for me this past year. My hope is that you get something out of it.
Being a Divine Rebel, you are possibly an empath because you see where the world needs healing and you are working for a change for humanity. You are also non conforming so you have spent time outside of “the box” of cultural and social norms. Which I am sure has made you a target for other people's lack of understanding of where you are coming from along with their own personal insecurities. Boundaries help us in moments of attack or when someone inadvertently steps on one of our values. Understanding that we ALL have our very own personal operating system helps us in creating boundaries.
I’d like to share my story with boundaries that in all honesty is still a place that I continue to work on and hope to become better at.
As a young adult I had no idea that it was possible to have boundaries or even what personal boundaries were. I did however create them without realizing what I was doing and made many many messes. I allowed people to do things that really bothered me ( not knowing that that were disrespecting MY personal values). I’d get mad and not say anything because I did know that they meant me no harm, so why rock the boat? Then of course it’d happen again… and again… and again… and yet AGAIN! At this point I’d be SO angry at them - mostly because “they made me have to tell them to stop” I could not figure out why’d they do whatever it was to me because I’d NEVER do that to them. I did not understand that their values were different so of course they wouldn’t have cared if had done the same to them. I would become the victim and lash out in anger and then they would be shocked because they did it all the time. WTF? I confused them. I was confused along with second guessing myself.
What a drama circle I created until I learned that boundaries are good for everyone. For myself and for everyone in my life. Boundaries create respect and more importantly they create trust. When we set loving boundaries people know how far they can go with us and in return we know where other’s limits are. What a relief! Without boundaries the rugs and even the earth shifts without us knowing why exactly.
I can say that I am now much better at creating boundaries sans the anger. Whew… making boundaries from love is so rewarding compared to doing it in anger. :) I will admit that every now and then the feedback I receive is that I do not speak up in the moment. While this is true at times it is something I am currently working on with hopes that one day I can be very clear in a loving kind way about what is not ok with me in the moment. I also have compassion for myself as I am an introverted thinker and an empath. I claim this for myself not as an excuse but as the way I am made, sometimes I just really need to think it through. I also celebrate that I have come a very long way towards my goal of setting clear loving boundaries. As a happy side note: Since creating boundaries in honor of myself I no longer attract narcissists into my life. I now repel them. Hallelujah!!
What’s your story with boundaries? Please save your sanity and don’t be like the old me and have to be pushed to freaking out in order to be able to create boundaries.
This week unlock YOUR magic with loving boundaries
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to gain clarity on creating loving boundaries:
What is a boundary to me?
( hint: how big is one, does it move? What color is it? Get super clear on what it is and what it looks like)
Have I been consciously aware when creating them?
What really drives me crazy?
( hint: the answer to this question reveals a value of yours that others roll over the top off)
Where is a boundary needed in my life this week? With who?
Have fun, be kind to yourself, and check out my program “Divine Rebel Mastery” where along with a force of other Divine Rebels you will gain inner mastery for outer impact and freedom. Starting in January for your new decade AND I am offering scholarships!