How Do To Build Resiliency?
If you missed my last blog post about Carbonated Holiness you can read it here. In there I tell you about how I overcame a difficult time in my life thanks to Carbonated Holiness.
But the truth is resiliency had a lot to do with it too.
What is resilience? I don’t have my hard copies of my dictionaries with me so the best definition I can find from online is this:
resilience | rəˈzilyəns | (also resiliency)
1 the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness:
2 the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape;
Looking back I think we all practice resiliency in some way. We all have had some hardship along the way. Huge disappointments of varying degrees, divorce, death, cancer, car accidents, business disappointments ... the list goes on and on. To live life as humans means we have things that happen to us or around us. I recommend that you put some intention into resiliency practice sooner rather than later because life can throw some epic stuff at you.
These are some lessons I picked up on the way of becoming a more resilient person.
1) Watch Your Thoughts
We all hit the wall from time to time. Know that this is okay. It is normal and it will change. Watch your thoughts because they do manifest. Are you becoming a victim? It is easy to get in victim mode. Admittley, I had moments that I wanted to say in a loud voice to someone “You have no idea what I’ve been through”, then I’d laugh at myself. It’s silly because of course they don’t care or want to know what I have been through and it is not worth telling a rude stranger or an uncaring acquaintance. Use your energy wisely by conserving it. I have watched my thoughts and I can turn it quickly to I. Am. Alive. Today. Period. From there, I can choose, and I choose to smile.
2) Stay Grateful
Gratefulness has been a big part of how I operate currently. The few months leading up to my epic events I have really practiced living in gratefulness. I know that this has been a huge part of my resilience. Today is a gift, today is all I have for sure, it could very well be my last day. If we live in this kind of gratitude today WILL be a good day. I’m incredibly grateful for a bed, a pillow, food, and my loved ones. The rest is stuff. Become grateful, it’ll be a profound game changer.
3) Feel Your Feels
No way around what you feel, baby. Admit what it is so it can be transformed. I had a call with my coach where I admitted feeling guilty for not being back to work yet. Then came the frustration with a tad bit of anger right behind it. Whoa. I was angry that it was taking so long to heal.
Once this was out of the bag it changed and has transformed back into carbonated holiness. I rejoice in my work and I was missing it. Hence, the anger and frustration. I won’t even touch the guilt as our society doesn’t value health and this is a topic for another time. Talk to one of your people who is supportive, hire a coach, write it down, scream, cry, but whatever you do you must get it out so it can change into something that serves you. I tell my clients all the time that our feelings are informing us. Acknowledge your feelings and see what they are telling you.
Put It Into Practice NOW (before shit hits the fan)
- Create a note to yourself of times when you were resilient, or strong.
- Make a list of the people you trust 100% with your life. No matter how small the list is - you have it in your pocket.
- Become aware of your thoughts and reign in the ones that are not serving you to ones that do.
- Be honest about your emotions and see how fast they change once you really admit what they are and to quit hiding them.
- Practice gratefulness, the real kind, not the transactional kind ( where someone said something nice and you feel obligated to return the compliment), the deep-rooted gratefulness in your bones that you can’t even really describe. The gratefulness that is there when you are facing something you never asked for and did not want…. The kind that builds resilience into your DNA.
Resilience becomes your friend through practice not only when it matters the most, give it try, there’s only carbonated holiness to win and nothing to lose.
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