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1401 Park Ave. #505
Emeryville
United States

Blog

Our conversations:

Transitioning into a new career is wonderful, exhilarating and fun, especially since I know without a doubt it is so very right for me.  There are a few challenges however - the first one being...BIG GULP....creating a website.

Now, I can do many things but create a website?  It is so far out of my realm it is not even funny... it’s like telling the cat “hey, if you want to eat, there is the can opener.”   So what have I done about it?  I have resisted at every turn.  I have done everything but actually create the website. Even when I KNOW I need to do it, that it is really important I get it done.  Every day when I go to bed it is nagging at me... I SHOULD have done it today... and I shudder thinking I HAVE to do it tomorrow.  This has happened for longer than I care to admit.

So while I was out on a long walk today trying to avoid what I ‘should’ be working on  -  my mind kept chewing on the word ‘conversations’.  By this I mean who we talk to and in what manner;  Do we engage in conversations with others that serve, that actually make a difference?  Or do our conversations fuel negativity or our own ego?

As I was pondering this, it suddenly hit me.. BAM! ... my conversation with myself was a disempowering one.   I saw that I have been stuck in "I shoulda coulda woulda" and "I need to" and I know I don't want to live there.  Just seeing this for one moment allowed me to give it some space.  And with that, I realized that I WANT to create my own website and I WANT to actually learn how to build it instead of depending on others to do it for me. Most importantly - I WANT to launch!   What a sense of relief my whole body and mind felt once I hit upon this.  I even had a stirring of  excitement in regards to learning a new skill.

 

So while I am working on my website… yes, really!!.. I want to ask you: where are your conversations with yourself today?

Are you beating yourself up over things you “should” be doing?

Can you turn your thoughts ever so slightly, enough to cause a shift that turns your shoulds into at least a doable want?

Is there a place in your life where you can be better served by getting your inner critic out of your way?

Maybe just start with being kind to yourself today. After all, life and maybe some delightful walks are out there waiting for you.

Expecting to be delighted

Rebecca England

 

In my coaching practice I frequently ask my clients if they are able to "expect to be delighted". I have found it to be very telling in where someone is from their response to this simple question. I came upon this working with my own coach and from that moment on I cannot stop "expecting to be delighted".

 

What I know is that when we expect to be delighted we are. Almost always it is in ways we could not have dreamed up ourselves. This is delight in all of it’s deliciousness.Therein lies the beauty of expecting it. Not knowing when or where it will appear, but knowing it will and that it will utterly charm you.

 

Here is an example: my husband and I both really value traveling. We save for experiences, travel being a top priority and choose it over other material things in our lives. My husband also travels for work- last year he traveled 50% of the time. One day he was notified that he had a companion pass because of his frequent flights. We originally thought it was a one time flight. On closer look he could choose one person to fly free on any flight he was on for 14 months. Holy Smokes! (Thank you Southwest Airlines and thank you Peter for choosing me as your companion)! It had never even entered my mind that something like this existed.  I can actually go because I am of the incredibly good fortunate to be able to work from anywhere as long as there is cell service and wifi. I am often in wondrous delight at where in the world I find myself. As I write this I have just finished working with clients and am now sitting outside a lovely cafe in LA with the sunlight filtered through flowering vines and the smell of jasmine lingering in the air. I am deeply grateful. For this moment and for this year of traveling together, exploring, visiting our family and friends. I am being delighted in many many wonderful ways that I had not even dared considering before.

 

The more I am open to being delighted the more delighted I become. Not just me, my clients who take this and have fun with it have their own stories to tell. The people, the friends, the clients, the way they conduct business, the new businesses. The amazing experiences that occur over and over is nothing but awe- inspiring.

 

I am not promising perfection. Or perfect ease at all times. Life does bring with it challenges unseen after all.  What I am saying is even in those moments of the tough times I am always surprised at what beauty, magic, love, growth, and yes, delight gets folded into the mix.

 

Which takes me to my next point. I am aware that some will see expecting to be delighted as being shallow or not deep. Au contraire! To be certain it is light, as  it does lack a certain heaviness. To be open to the magic of delight demands being able to look beyond ourselves and our current circumstances. In the midst of our modern day world this is not always an easy or a lightweight thing to do.

 

"Expecting to be delighted" is not an entitled state of being. I will repeat that: it is not an entitled state of being. It has no room for entitlement. Rather, it is a state of being filled with gratefulness. Filled with gratefulness for the simple moments, for the other pilgrims walking beside you on your journey, and for the natural world. I will even say it is humbling- which is the exact polar opposite of entitlement.

 

In the words of Rumi~ “ What you seek is seeking you”

 

If you wish to seek delight here a few ways to start:

 

1) What do you find delightful? Take some time to answer this question. Think simple. The simple things are usually the things that give us the most pleasure. Is it Gardening? Reading? Cooking for others? laughing? Watching a hummingbird? Dancing by yourself to a song that you love?  What puts a smile on your face and lingers with you?

 
 2) Do it! Even a few moments a day of delight can have a profound affect on you for the entire day and it opens the door for so much more delight that is waiting for you.
 

 

3) Watch those around you become delighted more often.

 

 

4) Notice where delight seeps in especially when least expected.

 

 

5) Repeat step 1 through 4. Delight yourself unabashedly. Expect Delight and watch the magic happen.



                                          Definition of delight from the New Oxford Dictionary:

                                                                       Delight: a cause or source of great pleasure

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Middle English: from Old French delitier (verb), delit (noun), from Latin delectare ‘to charm,’ frequentative of delicere. The -gh- was added in the 16th cent. by association with light.