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533 Ashland Ave.
Santa Monica Ca 90405
US

Blog

Our conversations:

Transitioning into a new career is wonderful, exhilarating and fun, especially since I know without a doubt it is so very right for me.  There are a few challenges however - the first one being...BIG GULP....creating a website.

Now, I can do many things but create a website?  It is so far out of my realm it is not even funny... it’s like telling the cat “hey, if you want to eat, there is the can opener.”   So what have I done about it?  I have resisted at every turn.  I have done everything but actually create the website. Even when I KNOW I need to do it, that it is really important I get it done.  Every day when I go to bed it is nagging at me... I SHOULD have done it today... and I shudder thinking I HAVE to do it tomorrow.  This has happened for longer than I care to admit.

So while I was out on a long walk today trying to avoid what I ‘should’ be working on  -  my mind kept chewing on the word ‘conversations’.  By this I mean who we talk to and in what manner;  Do we engage in conversations with others that serve, that actually make a difference?  Or do our conversations fuel negativity or our own ego?

As I was pondering this, it suddenly hit me.. BAM! ... my conversation with myself was a disempowering one.   I saw that I have been stuck in "I shoulda coulda woulda" and "I need to" and I know I don't want to live there.  Just seeing this for one moment allowed me to give it some space.  And with that, I realized that I WANT to create my own website and I WANT to actually learn how to build it instead of depending on others to do it for me. Most importantly - I WANT to launch!   What a sense of relief my whole body and mind felt once I hit upon this.  I even had a stirring of  excitement in regards to learning a new skill.

 

So while I am working on my website… yes, really!!.. I want to ask you: where are your conversations with yourself today?

Are you beating yourself up over things you “should” be doing?

Can you turn your thoughts ever so slightly, enough to cause a shift that turns your shoulds into at least a doable want?

Is there a place in your life where you can be better served by getting your inner critic out of your way?

Maybe just start with being kind to yourself today. After all, life and maybe some delightful walks are out there waiting for you.

How Do To Build Resiliency?

Rebecca England

If you missed my last blog post about Carbonated Holiness you can read it here. In there I tell you about how I overcame a difficult time in my life thanks to Carbonated Holiness.

But the truth is resiliency had a lot to do with it too.

What is resilience? I don’t have my hard copies of my dictionaries with me so the best definition I can find from online is this:

resilience | rəˈzilyəns | (also resiliency)

noun

1 the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness:  

2 the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape;

Looking back I think we all practice resiliency in some way. We all have had some hardship along the way. Huge disappointments of varying degrees, divorce, death, cancer, car accidents, business disappointments ... the list goes on and on. To live life as humans means we have things that happen to us or around us. I recommend that you put some intention into resiliency practice sooner rather than later because life can throw some epic stuff at you.

These are some lessons I picked up on the way of becoming a more resilient person.

1) Watch Your Thoughts

We all hit the wall from time to time. Know that this is okay. It is normal and it will change. Watch your thoughts because they do manifest. Are you becoming a victim? It is easy to get in victim mode. Admittley, I had moments that I wanted to say in a loud voice to someone “You have no idea what I’ve been through”, then I’d laugh at myself. It’s silly because of course they don’t care or want to know what I have been through and it is not worth telling a rude stranger or an uncaring acquaintance. Use your energy wisely by conserving it. I have watched my thoughts and I can turn it quickly to I. Am. Alive. Today. Period. From there, I can choose, and I choose to smile.

2) Stay Grateful

Gratefulness has been a big part of how I operate currently. The few months leading up to my epic events I have really practiced living in gratefulness. I know that this has been a huge part of my resilience. Today is a gift, today is all I have for sure, it could very well be my last day. If we live in this kind of gratitude today WILL be a good day. I’m incredibly grateful for a bed, a pillow, food, and my loved ones. The rest is stuff.  Become grateful, it’ll be a profound game changer.

3) Feel Your Feels

No way around what you feel, baby. Admit what it is so it can be transformed. I had a call with my coach where I admitted feeling guilty for not being back to work yet. Then came the frustration with a tad bit of anger right behind it. Whoa. I was angry that it was taking so long to heal.

Once this was out of the bag it changed and has transformed back into carbonated holiness. I rejoice in my work and I was missing it. Hence, the anger and frustration. I won’t even touch the guilt as our society doesn’t value health and this is a topic for another time. Talk to one of your people who is supportive, hire a coach, write it down, scream, cry, but whatever you do you must get it out so it can change into something that serves you. I tell my clients all the time that our feelings are informing us. Acknowledge your feelings and see what they are telling you.


Put It Into Practice NOW (before shit hits the fan)


  • Create a note to yourself of times when you were resilient, or strong.

  • Make a list of the people you trust 100% with your life. No matter how small the list is - you have it in your pocket.

  • Become aware of your thoughts and reign in the ones that are not serving you to ones that do.

  • Be honest about your emotions and see how fast they change once you really admit what they are and to quit hiding them.  

  • Practice gratefulness, the real kind, not the transactional kind ( where someone said something nice and you feel obligated to return the compliment), the deep rooted gratefulness in your bones that you can’t even really describe. The gratefulness that is there when you are facing something you never asked for and did not want…. The kind that builds resilience into your DNA.

Resilience becomes your friend through practice not only when it matters the most, give it try, there’s only carbonated holiness to win and nothing to lose.

In Joy,

Rebecca